The Spirit of the Season: Visiting a Graveyard
with your Children
By Laurie Ridgel
Despite the creepy feelings sometimes associated with graveyards and
cemeteries, they can be interesting destinations for family excursions.
Yes, you read that correctly -- family excursions.
Although soccer games and Monday Night Football
are prominent in
October, the theme for the month is definitely Halloween. Our
spooky fall holiday conjures up thoughts of orange and black,
of
pumpkins and witch hats, of goblins, ghosts, spirits and haunts.
And well it should, since it's the eve of The Day of the Dead.
What better place to explore the spirit of the season than a
graveyard?
A cemetery is a place where we lay to rest the
physical remains of our loved ones. Hanging around with a bunch
of dead
bodies -- now that is a creepy thought, if you allow yourself
to
think in those terms. Think graveyard, though. The mere change
of
wording evokes a sense of permanence, of long-standing (or
long-lying?) history. One thinks of monuments with dates spanning
hundreds of years, of moss and lichens, and of the encroachment
of nature.
What possible reason could there be to explore
a graveyard with your family? What would your kids get out of
it? As with all
things, it depends on what you see in the opportunity.
Reading headstones can establish a sense of
history and genealogy for kids. Calculating life spans exercises
mental math skills
and
can lead to discussions about advances we've made in medicine
and
nutrition. Collecting names and studying grave placements can
tell tales of long-gone families.
Our own family has developed a love for old
graveyards. Comparing monument styles and seeing where trees
and plants have flourished
has taught our children to recognize the care and love
surrounding the memories of the deceased. Our daughters enjoy
finding the oldest person on the grounds, and they feel sorry
for
the youngest. The insulin shots of our diabetic younger daughter
took on a whole new meaning to her among the abundance of
children's headstones in our local settlers' cemetery. My husband
and I appreciate our ancestors' Civil War markers in the Deep
South. My favorite headstone ever was one that had been
laboriously hand-chiseled from a rounded granite stone for a
young single settler. The man obviously had at least one very
close friend.
On a recent visit to San Francisco, I drove
our exchange student through the military cemetery at the Presidio.
The vast acreage
of white markers representing more than 150 years of world-wide
service impressed upon her what fighting for American ideals
means to us. She said she hadn't appreciated that devotion to
country from her own French heritage.
Halloween may be about spooks and haunts. A
visit to your local cemetery or graveyard, however, can give
your family a new
appreciation of what those headstones represent. A grave marker
may have a spooky connotation at Halloween, but for the rest
of
the year, it stands for a life lived, a family loved, sometimes
a
country served, and always thousands of stories and moments of
our own history.
Here are some activities to consider for your
own haunt to a local graveyard:
Read the headstones and epitaphs, and study
the dates.
-When was the cemetery or graveyard first established?
-What were the life spans of these people?
-Can you discover who was related to whom? Or who was left alive to bury them?
-How old was this person when he died?
-Does the headstone tell you how that person died? (Especially
in
the West: Was this a hanging? A shoot-out? A mining accident?)
-Do the dates correspond with an historical event, such as a
flu
epidemic or a war?
-Are there any historical monuments dedicated to town founders
or
explorers?
Compare the markers.
-Do some have similar shapes or designs? Can you discover why?
(Family, religious affiliation, military service, etc.)
-Does the marker appear expensive? Old or new? Elaborate or
hand-carved?
-What does this information tell you about the life of this
person?
Family Graveyard Challenges
-Find the oldest person.
-Find the youngest person.
-Find the oldest date.
-Take a census of "residents."
-Find the most unusual name.
-Find the family with the most relations.
-Choose your favorite marker.
-Do a stone-rubbing with a piece of butcher paper and a crayon.
Graveyard Education
-Visit a relative's plot and "introduce" your children.
-Use the trip to teach respectful cemetery etiquette.
-Use mental math to calculate ages.
-Search for misspellings!
-Use the names and dates to discuss historical events and influences.
-Let the location spark a discussion of beliefs and burial
practices.
Besides writing, Laurie Ridgel enjoys teaching and motherhood
in
the California Sierras. Her family shares an adventuresome spirit
and a love of the outdoors.
