Baby & Toddler

How My Life Has Changed Since Having a Baby
By Jennifer Ismail

I wear a bra ALL THE TIME and I choose it based on how much support it offers, not how pretty it is… 

I used to imagine I heard the phone or the doorbell ringing when I was in the shower, now I hear phantom baby cries… 

I can finish a meal -- any meal -- in five minutes flat… 

I have developed a previously undiscovered talent for one handed typing… 

Sleeping for only four uninterrupted hours used to be a bad night, now it's a good one… 

I now provide a running dialogue of all of my actions throughout the day and I don't worry about being caught since talking out loud is both allowed and encouraged when you have a baby… 

I get more excited by a diaper sale than a shoe sale (well, almost)… 

Like a fortune teller reading tea leaves, I check the contents of a diaper for indications of health and general well being… 

I have perfected the "baby war dance": bouncing down the hall on the balls of my feet while pound-pound-pounding the baby's back in hopes of eliciting a burp… 

My improvisational skills have improved -- I can make up and sing a nonsense song about anything, anytime… 

If I don't do something immediately when it springs to mind, I forget what it was I wanted to do and I get distracted easily -- even in the middle of a given task, I tend to lose my train of…

 

Jennifer Ismail is a stay at home mom to her new daughter and a freelance writer. She enjoys writing lighthearted and (hopefully) humorous essays from her personal experiences. Her work has appeared in her local paper as well as on www.20ishparents.com, www.parentinghumor.com, www.frugal-moms.com, www.babyuniversity.com and postaholics.com. She can be contacted at locito99@yahoo.com