Child Support Plan
By
Armin Brott
Dear MrDad: My ex and I get along pretty well
and we don't want to spend a bunch of money haggling about child
support in court. Can we come up with our own agreement?
A: If you and your ex are on pretty civil terms, in most states
you can write your own child support agreement. As long as the
needs of the children are being met, the courts will approve
pretty much anything the two of you come up with. And since no
one knows your kids, their needs, and your own individual financial
situations better than you and your ex, your agreement will undoubtedly
be a lot more reasonable for everyone.
Before you start working on your own child support agreement,
ask your attorney or mediator to tell you what the state guidelines
would be in your case—sometimes they actually work out
okay. If you're not happy with the guideline figure, the two
of you should put together an accurate list of your individual
incomes and expenses, as well as a complete list of child-related
expenses. Once you've done that, you'll have to figure out a
way of dividing them fairly—and that isn't always easy.
One particularly good way is to split the child-related expenses
according to the percentage of your combined income that each
of you earns. So if together the two of you make $65,000 and
you bring in $40,000 of that, your share of the expenses 62 percent.
Each month, then, you would write her a check for 62% of the
budgeted amount, minus, of course, any expenses you pay for directly,
such as school tuition and medical insurance.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you and your ex are
drafting a child support agreement:
Limit the agreement to child support. Any other non-child-related
financial business each of you has with the other shouldn't be
included in this arrangement.
Be honest. Don't lie about your income or do anything to deliberately
lower it. And don't overestimate your expenses.
Be fair. Any agreement you and your ex come up with will have
to be approved by a judge.
Be understanding. If you're making a lot of money, your ex may
resent you for it.
Neither of you can waive support completely. You can, however,
set each other's child support payments at zero. The judge can
then approve your proposal but leave the door open for change
later on if anyone's circumstances change.
Be flexible. Renegotiate your agreement every year, or more often,
if the situation calls for it. Any change in your or your ex's
financial situation can have a dramatic effect on your children.
Allow for contingencies. If you lose your job or get injured
or incapacitated, your support payments should go down. If you
win the lottery, they should go up.
Try to keep payments in percentage terms rather than
flat dollar amounts. This is especially important if your income fluctuates.
(Say, for example, you're a carpenter and you don't get much
work in the winters).
Avoid automatic cost-of-living escalator clauses in your
agreement. Discuss actual changes in expense and income in your annual review.
Ask for a complete accounting. If you're paying for support,
you have a right to know how it's being spent.
Do not agree to pay more support than is truly fair just because
you think it'll help you feel less guilty about having left your
spouse and children.
Since its debut, Armin
Brott's New Father series has been making life easier--and
a lot more fun--for fathers and mothers around the world.
Overflowing with practical advice and month-by-month developmental
descriptions (of fetus, baby and dad), the books in the New
Father series also examine the roles of fathers and
encourage men to continually take an active role in rearing
their children.
Visit Armin's website.
