How We Overcame
Morning Clothes Battles
By Gina Ritter
My son is eight years old and we began the school year by arguing
relentlessly over clothing choices each morning for the first
week. The mornings would not be complete without him clutching
hard to a shirt or pair of pants he swore he couldn't do without,
while I tugged at it, simultaneously thrusting something else
at him, both of us screaming at each other.
Taylor is "Mr. Fashion," ready for the cover of Surfer
Dude Magazine at any moment. He won't go for my kind of fashion,
only the "gym clothes" and mismatched Hawaiian prints.
He prefers shorts and tank tops, but living in New York, even
he has to agree to wear pants and sleeves.
He's taken to those wind pants, or "parachute" pants,
that gym teachers wear, with sporty-looking t-shirts and top
sets from Adidas and other brands. Of course, he's adorable!
But he's driving me insane! He refuses to wear most of what he
has in his closet, except for a few sets of clothes he's approved.
Think back a few years to Sporty Spice of the Spice Girls.
My husband told me just to let him have
his way and wear what he wants day after day. I chose to flat
out refuse that option. I had already given up any hope that
my son would again enjoy wearing blue jeans, dress pants and
all of the cute, coordinating outfits that Gap supplies. I
had lowered my parental standards already, and had purchased
a few things for him that I would have rather left in the store.
In addition, school clothes are often
a reflection on the parents, and I felt I needed to make a
continually good impression with his teachers this year. I
didn't want his clothing choices to affect what work I had
been doing with the school staff. WE needed to look like we
were providing more than two outfits for our children.
My lower standards still weren't helping us on the home front.
On the third morning of the new school
year, we fought over a pair of gym pants he wanted to wear.
I was certain they were
nearly the same pants that he'd worn the day before and begged
him to wear them the next week instead. Out of desperation, he
called them his "lucky pants" and laid on his brother's
bed in a sobbing mess.
I told him they couldn't be his lucky pants if he'd never worn
them before, but he was absolutely certain. I finally had enough
and drew the line. We had been fighting over clothes nearly all
summer, at least twice a week, and this semester had started
out with three days in a row.
Peace HAD to come! I couldn't go another moment with our house
falling apart every morning over clothing. I suddenly had a plan,
and over his loud protests I called his attention to it. I asked
my husband to come in and listen and approve.
The plan is so very simple and sneaky. In fact, it's one I have
used on my husband without him knowing it!
I told Taylor he can pick out his clothes all by himself each
morning from the clothes in his closet. I let him know that I
wouldn't argue (much), but that I would make suggestions if something
were mismatched.
Taylor understood that the selections must be made from the
clean clothes in his closet only, and he immediately agreed.
My husband wasn't sure why it took so long for me to just allow
this activity. Only I knew the real reason.
I hadn't purchased all of the clothes
he would need for the year yet, so I also swore not to buy
any more clothes unless
he picks them out, because, frankly, I want to have that leverage.
He often "forgets" that last week he liked something,
so I can now say, "But, Taylor, you picked it out!"
I make minor suggestions on rethinking
blue tops over black pants, and there hasn't been an argument
since day three. Ironically,
on day four, he was dressed before I even got up for the morning,
probably hoping I wouldn't change my mind. He's perfectly happy
to dress himself now, and peace has come to the morn’ again.
You may wonder how this could possibly work. Wouldn't he just
insist on wearing the same thing every day? Not really, as I
left out a minor detail. Remember, I told him that he was only
to pick from his clean clothes or the deal was off. Furthermore,
I told him that if he wanted his favorites cleaned, he would
have to wash, fold and put them away with me. I can therefore
hold off on doing his laundry until he's gone through most everything
in the closet, as just like most eight-year-old boys, he has
no intention of doing laundry with his mother every day!
Gina Ritter is owner and EIC of the Busy Parents
Online Magazine. She's a wife, mom to three boys and writer
in NY. Gina's making it big! (If only in her mind).
