Blame It
on the Hormones
Joanne Haagenson
"Don’t worry, it's just the hormones."
This is supposed to make
us feel better?
Crying over the Simpsons?
Can't handle your children without screaming irrationally at the
oven? Bashing your keyboard into your monitor only to discover
it’s not working because you haven't turned it on yet?
No problem, it's just the
hormones.
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Nothing
can make us lose rationality faster, or make our husbands
cower in fear more. Hormones have the power to change a
woman from a perfectly rational person to Medusa in a split
second! They have the ability to make us lose all concept
of normal behavior.
It's really no wonder
that women are stereotyped as being the illogical sex. Please!
We don't have time to be logical. We're too busy taming
these brutes that have invaded our bodies.
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We have pre-menstrual syndrome,
present-menstrual syndrome, post-menstrual syndrome, and ovulating
hormones. There are "up too early" hormones, and "slept
too late" hormones. "I'm too busy" hormones, and
the "I'm bored" ones.
And pregnancy hormones!
Only those could make us flip out because the honey was put away
to the left of the peanut butter rather than the right. And I've
heard rumors that the menopausal hormones are even worse. Fantastic...
gives me something to look forward to.
During my first pregnancy,
my mother took my husband and I out to dinner. We had a lovely
time, stuffing our faces at the buffet, and while chatting over
dessert a wave of hormones possessed my body. Not waiting for
my husband was finished speaking, I fervently demanded, "I
have to go home. NOW!"
What on earth could cause
me to do such a thing? The hormones.
Oh, but one caveat: don't
give hormones the shaft too quickly. What else could we blame
when we have an overwhelming desire to read romance novels and
eat chocolate all night? Or when we get up to bake cookies at
2:00 in the morning?
We blame our hormones when
we’re selfish or snap at our family. They’re a great
excuse when we need to sit in the dark and cry for no reason too.
Hormones are our curse, but they can also be our blessing.
I think I hear a bag of
M&M's calling my name, or is that just the hormones?
